佛法告訴我們，一切言行發之於心念。依循著這樣的教誨，我開始建立起自我省察的習慣。我察覺到如果心中有自私的念頭，言行舉止就會只為自己著想，我也將成為一個具有破壞力的人，不但自己因為貪得無厭而受苦，其他人也會因此受到傷害。自私障蔽心眼，讓我們無法體會到周遭人們的感受。透過觀照自己的念頭，我開始能覺察心中的我執，進而學習停止長養我執，因此能感受到平靜安詳的心境。

　　慈悲觀的薰習，讓我對因習氣而受苦的人有較高的容忍度。以前我總是很容易被他人的粗魯對待，與無理取鬧所觸怒，但是現在我會思惟著，或許對方的行為，是來自於被煩惱和不安所困擾的心。這樣的考量讓我能用更包容的態度，來面對無法約束負面情緒的人。

恆修慈忍心自在

　　慈悲法門也教導我們，殺生害命的行為是由於心中充滿毒素。過去我總是將昆蟲看作令人嫌惡的東西，而非與我們同等的生命。有一天，我在母親的家中看見一隻蜘蛛，立即在心中產生一陣突如其來想殺害牠的衝動。在那一瞬間，我覺察到這種突發性的衝動是極度負面的惡念，如果我任憑惡念操控自己，最終我將對殺生感到麻木，並且視為理所當然。

　　學習靜坐和修習慈悲觀之後，我也能夠走入自己的內心世界，重新檢視從孩提時代，就已經養成的不良習氣。我了解到自己錯誤的行為和自私的想法，也和孩提時代生長在缺乏紀律和自制的環境當中有關。當我懷著慈悲心來看待自己，就能夠產生諒解，因而從多年來的自我折磨中釋放出來。

　　我知道自己仍有一輩子的功課要修；然而，我的心已經從焦慮和沮喪的困境中解脫，因為我已經明白：痛苦來自於不受羈絆的念頭。我將會繼續自己的道業，並幫助其他人也踏上這條修行之路。

　　(Buddhism has showed me that everything that I do or say starts from a thought from within me. According to this teaching I have developed the habit of self-reflection. If my mind is in selfish thought then everything I say or do will only be for the benefit of me. This is a destructive existence that only leads to the self suffering of never being satisfied and the suffering of other people; selfishness blinds the eyes to the feelings of the people around you. By practicing awareness I have experienced a peaceful state of mind by being able to recognize my ego and learning how to practice not feeding my ego.

　　Compassion Contemplation has also helped me improve myself through the practice of being more tolerant with people who may be in deep suffering. In the past I would become quickly offended if another person was to treat me rudely or insult me for no reason, but now I am able to consider if this person’s behavior is motivated by a troubled mind, this consideration has allowed me to be more forgiving towards people who may not be able to control their negative impulses.

　　Compassion has also showed me that there is poison that leads to killing an insect. I used to see insects as a nuisance and not an equal creation to myself. One day I saw a spider in my mother’s house and I experienced a quick impulsive thought to kill this insect, at that moment I was able to recognize that this impulsive thought was extremely negative in nature and if I gave into this negative impulsive emotion it would desensitize my mind to the act of killing another being.

　　Since beginning my practice of meditation and the study of Compassion Contemplation, over time I have been able to mentally step back within myself and see the negative habits I have developed since childhood. I have realized that my erroneous habits and selfishness were related to the environment I grew up in, which lacked discipline and structure. With a compassionate mindset I have been able to learn how to be more forgiving with myself which has liberated me from years of self abuse.

　　I realize I still have a lifetime of lessons to endure, but now that my mind has been liberated from depression and anxiety simply by showing me that all that suffering was from my own undisciplined thoughts, I am willing to continue my practice and help others along the way.)